she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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