I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Duck Duck Cougar?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
