I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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