Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i believe in u and ur pee
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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