Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
