Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
