I wanna passion pit in your ass
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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