dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
