i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
