The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
