nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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