lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
