Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
