My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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