She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
