Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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