just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
