i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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