imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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