Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
