i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i believe in u and ur pee
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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