I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
