Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize