dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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