I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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