I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
