you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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