We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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