its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize