so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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