high people should be assigned attendants
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
