I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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