Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
