Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize