I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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