we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
