We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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