i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
