HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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