I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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