I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
