Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
