I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
