I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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