i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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