so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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