Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The power of my boobs compel you
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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