1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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