If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
