Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
