508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
