My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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