do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
