# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pants are for mortals
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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