there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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