I just saw a hot homeless man
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize